How do YOU fight it out?

Okay, so many of you know me – and maybe we’re friends in real life, or maybe we’re just Facebook buds because we like to “stalk” eachother. Face it, if we’re friends on Facebook and we’ve never really talked in real life, I am probably “stalking” you. I digress… as I said, many of you know me, but maybe a few you don’t know me at all.

Let me take a moment to introduce myself.
I am Jessica and I am an over-sharer. Did you know that I am an over-sharer? Well I am, 🙂 but you mustn’t tell anyone else.

In real life, I have a handful of close friends. They are awesome and we all like to talk. Sometimes we talk about things (possibly in public) that most people would cover their ears overhearing. My sheshallremainnameless co-worker and I have probably over-shared way too much about ourselves in the past almost-two-years. Sorry blog readers, I won’t divulge all the good stuff yet.

Anyhow – back to the question – today I want you to share something with me. Yes, I have a question for YOU. I want to know how you fight with your boyfriend husband wife girlfriend friend-with-benefits other half significant other? And how often?

Are you constantly arguing? Never arguing? Do you fight quietly after the kids have gone to bed, or is it a public battle? Do you throw things at them? 🙂 Or maybe you’re better quieter than me and you know how to just keep your mouth shut?

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, I know I can be somewhat cryptic. I know I have been somewhat cryptic lately because my relationship has been a little … strained. I don’t like to come right out and talk about my personal relationship, therefore, everyone I talk about in this blog must remain nameless. So yeah… things have been a little strained the past few days and we haven’t come right out and argued about it yet. Maybe we never will. Usually the arguing over here consists of a bunch of some yelling, some ignoring, some apologizing and then it’s over. It’s usually over dumb, petty things and sometimes the argument actually makes things even better than they were to begin with. Maybe most of our arguments are healthy? HAHA!

This time – wayyyy different. It’s been a lot of passive-aggressive comments (and let me tell you, I am the queen of passive-aggressive) and lots of saying, “okay then.” It’s not as heated and it’s lasting a lot longer, and it’s driving me nuts. It’s to the point where I don’t even know what we’re arguing about. Does that happen to anyone else? Usually when I’ve done something wrong, which is never hardly ever, I like to hold out on apologizing until I can’t remember what I did wrong, and then I just give him one of those “general apologies.” One of those, “I’m sorry I’m such a bitch grouch this week,” apologies. Yeah, you know the one. Maybe I should have put “learn how to give a good apology” on my resolution list.

Anyway, I think it’s because there has been a lot going on lately (see ya next year, holidays!) and we haven’t had as much time together. It’s weird, but we fight more when we’re apart. I can’t figure out if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but if we fight less when we’re together than I’d vote that it’s a good thing. We usually only fight when we’re together if he’s been in the bathroom longer than 20 minutes or if he refuses to let me change the channel when he’s been glued to his iPad for the past half hour. You don’t get both the TV and the iPad, buddy.

Fingers are crossed that everything will be back to the normal by next week. What can I say, I’m a sucker for routine.

Oh my goodness, I’m doing too much over-sharing. Sorry for spilling my “I just admitted I don’t have the perfect relationship” post on ya! I will have to watch what I share from now on. Before I scare everyone my manfriend away.

So there’s my question to you … how do you guys argue? Am I the only weird one who forgets what they’re fighting about by the time they apologize? Please – anyone – tell me I’m normal.

xo, Jess.

{moment of honesty} I let my toddler play on the iPad while I wrote this post. If you’re judging me right now, I have a slightly smaller (down 4 lbs in 2 days!) booty that you can kiss.

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6 thoughts on “How do YOU fight it out?

  1. Heather DeBernardi says:

    Your arguing technique is not weird at all. I too forget what Mike and I are arguing about and I go to high extremes to make it look like it’s his fault, but he’s on to me. Yay, I’m glad your crazy drops are working. Love reading your blogs.

  2. Kari Tarman says:

    I feel like I fought a lot with Justin in the beginning but that now that we know each other and have been through so many fights, we hardly fight at all. Unless, he is driving then we fight, so it has been resolved that I should drive long distances. I am faster! But, I have thrown things before, Justin likes to scare the SH** out of me and it usually ends up with me throwing something, breaking into tears, and then trying to scream all at the same time. It might be a youtube sensation if he videotaped it. 🙂 I think the important thing is that when you fight,you work towards a resolution! Try to solve it! 🙂

  3. Shery Adkins says:

    You remind me of someone, who like you say shall remain nameless. Anyways, I too have forgot in the past what the fight started over, but have learned that it is easier to end it with doing something nice for my loved one and maybe never apologizing, but most of the time, actions speak louder than words. Words are just that words! Sure it is nice to get an apology but is sometimes harder to give. That’s why I think it’s easier to show you’re sorry even if you can’t remember why. PS. I have thrown things in my younger days, I think it’s hormonal! LOL!

    • Christi Sylvester says:

      I agree with some of what you have said Sheryl…..I think a rote apology WITHOUT actions behind it is mute..and frankly, disrespectful. Don’t tell me you are sorry for something and then turn around and do the same thing again. That said, however, I think it is equally disrespectful to NOT apologize for a mistake (or whatever the cause). I think by NOT apologizing, we minimize the other person in the relationship…to me it says, ‘you aren’t worth an honest apology, just a cheap trinket or friendly gesture.

      Personally, I respect myself more when I apologize for things and learn the moral from the mistake. And I love my partner more when he respects me enough to apologize for his mistakes. And trust me, in 35 1/2 years married, we have made a ton of mistakes and done a ton of apologizing.

  4. Jeremy C. Parsons says:

    Sorry doesn’t mean jack squat without actions to back up. That aside, I am on marriage number two, and the first one was full of fighting. I once told her she could stand outside and tell me the sky was purple, despite the fact that I could see it was blue, just to start an argument. So yeah, you’re normal 😉

  5. Kharen says:

    Jim thinks I love arguing and maybe he is right. I’m not going to blame my parents, but they were not good models when it came to arguing, so to me it is normal to scream, be mad for days and say things I probably shouldn’t say when I don’t mean it. I keep telling myself I need to stop getting so mad at everything but it is harder than what it looks like. I hate apologizing even when I know I’m wrong….I don’t know why. My apology is usually, “I guess I’m sorry” lol. I think my anger comes from an underlying problem…and I hope I grow out of it…so far I’m failing at it….maybe I need some therapy lol

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