everything is NOT my fault.

First of all – welcome back to my blog! 🙂

I know it’s been a long time… and hopefully that’s going to change. You can’t say I didn’t warn you in the beginning… I’m not very good at this blogging thing. Round 2 blogging… go.

If you want the short version – I’m still alive (yay!), I’m still raising Winright, and I’m still fat. Yep. You heard it here. I didn’t get skinny for my best friend’s wedding. I swear, I WILL BE SKINNY AT SOME POINT IN MY LIFE. Well, maybe not skinny… but less bootylicious than I am now.

I am working out though. Dieting really doesn’t work for me in the long term, so maybe this whole “let’s workout and try not to eat cupcakes every day” will work. Even if it is only one pound a week…I should be down to my goal week in about a year 🙂

In other news, I am venturing into new territory… single territory. Yep. You heard it. No more bullshit boyfriend.

That relationship was way more work than reward, therefore, it had to end. It was pretty much doomed from the start, but let’s not get into that.

Let me just say that… LADIES – or hell, even you MEN – if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, get out. Get out now. Stop letting them break you down, because when you finally do get out, you’ll barely recognize yourself. It’s like I’ve woken up and I can finally see what was happening all along.

Things my friends and family have been telling me for years months. All the signs were on the wall. And even I knew it long ago. I’d end things and then SOMEHOW, SOME WAY I would be manipulated into thinking everything was the way it was because of me – and guess what – it wasn’t.

I’m not perfect. Don’t we grow up knowing that? Yet I have been told that OVER AND OVER for nearly two years now. It gets old. It gets old never feeling good enough. It gets old being screamed at. It gets old being screamed at then told, “well, if you weren’t such a bitch so dumb, I wouldn’t yell.”

It’s finally like, HELLO – you’re the reason I’m such a bitch!

I’m ready to move on with my life. If I wind up alone, so be it.

I don’t hate him or wish bad things upon him. He’s a good person – a funny person. He will do about anything for a stranger. But watch out if you’re dating him.

After all, I have Winright, and that’s my #1 priority. That’s someone that I refuse to screw up with this toxic relationship any longer.

I know there’s a genuine tall handsome redhead man out there waiting for me, and damn it, I’m going for him.

That’s real talk, ya’ll.
Don’t judge me.

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2 thoughts on “everything is NOT my fault.

  1. April says:

    I’m glad that you ended what seemed from the outside looking in like an unproductive relationship. It takes a lot of strength to take that plunge to make the change, but stick with it, Sista! Being alone isn’t as bad as people might think anyway—and it’s 100x better than dealing with someone who doesn’t deserve your patience and time. Maybe you can take up a new hobby or come up with more creative things to do with your young, handsome Winright. And look around . . . you’re never really alone. You have friends for days. And backup families to last a lifetime.

  2. Kelly says:

    I agree with
    April. I am proud of you for taking the step and getting out of that relationship. It is a very hard thing to do but you will be so much better off for doing it.

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