Category Archives: Weight Loss

I’m fat. Day 1.

Oh, the hell. The hell of trying to get thin. Why do I do this to myself? I love food and food obviously loves me, so why do I even bother trying to lose weight?

Oh yeah, my best friend is getting married in 7 months and I am NOT going to be “that fat
maid-of-honor.” I have been a fat bridesmaid for too many years. I also want to be a healthy example for my child, and prove to myself that I CAN DO THIS, but more importantly –
I want to look good in that dress! I also want to look good naked.
I’m serious, this is it. This is the absolute last year of me being fat.

This isn’t an easy post, or topic, for me – I can probably count the number of times I have called myself fat. I prefer bootylicious, or juicy, or even big-boned. Fat is such an ugly word. I cringe when I hear it – even when someone is describing another person. Society tells us that fat = lazy, ugly, worthless – and honestly, that’s how I feel lately.

Today that all ends. I am going to take a big ol’ leap into the pool of honesty and just put it all out there. It all started this morning – fruit, veggies, lean meats, WATER. NO MORE JUNK. Luckily, I haven’t quit yet and miraculously, I don’t feel too bad for the first day. I was worried I might experience signs of withdrawal by not eating any chocolate today.

Height – 5’9
Healthy Weight – 135 to 169 lbs.

I am aiming for a goal weight of about 150, which to be honest is about 50 lbs. It makes my stomach hurt to tell you all my weight, but maybe… just maybe… this blog will help me hold myself somewhat accountable. I would be happy if I lost 30 lbs and kept it off.

If I’d have continued my weight loss/lifestyle change last year, I am confident I’d be at goal weight right now. I was about half way there, and I felt great. I fell off the weight-loss wagon because I, like alot of people, can’t stop eating cookies eat when I’m bored. I don’t think it’s emotional – I have actually been mostly happy this past year. And I can’t really blame my parents because no one in my immediate family has a weight problem. Jerks. So I’m blaming it on my relationship my lack of control. It’s so easy to lose control when you work all the time, come home tired, then have to do chores and try to raise a child. It also doesn’t help when you have a boyfriend that can eat Big Macs daily and not gain a pound.

So, I am going to make a conscious effort this year (THE WHOLE YEAR, Jessica!) to meal plan, and be more organized when it comes to food. I’m sick of losing weight and gaining it back. I now own pants in like 3 different sizes. This time I am losing it and throwing my “fat pants” away!
Which will be sad because there are some really cute pants in that stack.

Anyhow – congrats if you read this entire post.
I know most of you are skinny and are uninterested in this kind of stuff 🙂
Won’t you all join me as I venture out (and possibly fail) on this weight loss journey?

I have not shown ANYONE this photo (not even you, mom) because I think it’s just awful. So anyhow, here’s my starting point. I can only go down (in weight) from here. I refuse to go up.

xo, Jess.

{moment of honesty} I ate some Doritos, Lindt truffles, and pizza last night for my last meal.
And I am laughing hysterically right now because deep down I know I should have just kept this entire post to myself.

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